Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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