Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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