He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
