That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Sorry about my life...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
