New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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