Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
