Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
It's never too late to be topless.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
