he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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