nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
