hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
