the condom got lost in my hair
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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