Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
