I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Randomize
