My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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