Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
