i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
