Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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