I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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