We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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