she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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