Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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