he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
