Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
