We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
