dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
