Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
