We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
