I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I love you.
Bad choice
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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