; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
