Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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