I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
