You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
