Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
