Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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