you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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