Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
