is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
