Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
