The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
