I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
