Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
