Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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