Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
