maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
It's just like the Real World with babies
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
