I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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