I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Randomize
