we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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