Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize