remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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