im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
it was like eating out sand paper
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
