I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Everything about him screamed your future.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
