and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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