You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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